I don't consider myself religious by any means, but after reading this, I know that God and St. Francis would approve of my garden and yard!
YARD WORK AS VIEWED FROM HEAVEN
(Overheard in a conversation between God and St. Francis)
God:
Francis, you know all about gardens and nature; what in the world is going
on down there in the U.S.? What happened to the dandelions, violets,
thistles and the stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance
garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought, and
multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts
butterflies, honeybees, and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast
garden of color by now. All I see are patches of green.
St. Francis:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. They are called the
Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great
lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
God:
Grass? But it is so boring, it's not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, bees or birds, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental
with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want grass growing?
St. Francis:
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it has grown a little, they cut
it....sometimes two times a week.
God:
They cut it? Do they bale it like hay?
St Francis:
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
God:
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
St. Francis:
No sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD:
Now let me get this straight. . . they fertilize it to make it grow and
when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
St. Francis:
Yes, sir.
God:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the
rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a
lot of work.
St. Fran
You aren't going to believe this Lord, but when the grass stops growing so
fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can
continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
God:
What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the
spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall
to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep the moisture in the soil
and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves become
compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
St. Francis:
You'd better sit down, Lord. As soon as the leaves fall, the Suburbanites
rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
God:
No way! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in the winter
to keep the soil moist and loose?
St Francis:
After throwing the leaves away, they go out and buy something called
mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
God:
And where do they get this mulch?
St. Francis:
They cut down the trees and grind them up to make mulch.
God:
Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're
in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
St. Catherine:
"Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a really stupid movie about. . .
God:
Never mind--I think I just heard the whole story from Saint Francis!
